Nonalcoholic drinks that taste better than the real thing

Are “mocktails” still a thing? With non-alcoholic — simply called “NA” — booze and beers now available at mainstream retailers like Target, the current trend of not drinking is considered common and, dare I say it, cool. Unlike the cigarette-and-beer stance of our youth, those healthy Gen-Zers show less interest in drinking alcohol than previous generations, perhaps finally normalizing life without the sauce — and its socially acceptable sobriety terms.

For us Gen-X GALs who put down our cosmos for fewer headaches, this news directly benefits our health as well. During perimenopause, our livers, in charge of breaking down alcohol and metabolizing hormones, may be less effective, therefore eliminating alcohol at a slower pace — and also causing more intense menopausal symptoms like hot flushes, night sweats, and mood changes. 

Fast lives and slow livers have no time for the burdens that booze can create, especially around the hectic holidays. Yet, as the NA beverage industry grows 30% year over year, more options on the shelves mean more bottles you need to try. To save you precious time and money, I decided to share my favorite NA drinks — along with a violet Midst Mocktail that I crafted — so you can keep your well-earned cool, and rightfully so.

In confidence: The easiest (and most discreet) nonalcoholic drink to order at a bar or restaurant

If I learned one thing in AA, it’s to protect my sobriety at all costs. My go-to NA drink in the wild is soda water and bitters on the rocks with lemon or lime — which looks like a refreshing cocktail when you simply don’t want to (read: you never need to) explain yourself.

When hosting, this simple mocktail can be dressed up with a rosemary sprig for the holidays and a variety of other flavorful garnishes like orange peel, festive berries, or a splash of cranberry juice. I recommend ANGOSTURA Aromatic Bitters for its 1824 recipe of herbs, fruits, and spices. While the concoction is 100% vegan, kosher-certified, and sodium- and gluten-free, it does indicate “alcohol” as its base ingredient, with 45% alcohol by volume. 

Since most drinks include only a few drops (two for taste, about six for oomph), many compare this amount to cooking with alcohol and find it safe for their personal health choices. (This is a big discussion amongst sobriety and pregnancy circles, and one that I feel can only be determined by the individual.) For those who swear off alcohol in any form, NA bitters can offer a similar experience, albeit rare in public settings, making soda water with a twist your best option.

Nonalcoholic wine and bubbles: Advice for pour decisions

I hate to burst your bubble, but pretty much every NA “champagne” or wine will taste exactly like what it is — grape juice. To sip empty calories without a bit of fantasy would be a true crime, and therefore my best recommendation for a taste of reality is Fre by Sutter Home.

“Alcohol-removed” is the term we use with this brand by way of technology that separates the alcohol with “a combination of centrifugal force and nitrogen gas” to preserve the wine’s original taste. Fre offers the usual spectrum of Sauvignon Blan to Cabernet Sauvignon with bubbly options in between. I fancy the Sparkling Brut or Cab’ around the holidays when arm-high toasts with my family rhythmically punctuate every gathering.

Nonalcoholic beer: Hoppier and healthier holiday habits

After many experimental rounds of NA brews, my partner and I landed on Athletic Brewing Co. as our fave for its realistic and satisfying flavor and body. I always grab a blue case of Run Wild, an IPA brewed with a blend of five Northwest hops and a substantial malt body, with just 65 calories. He slings the orange case of Free Wave Hazy IPA, flavored with Amarillo, Citra, and Mosaic hops, at a mean 70 calories.

Athletic Brewing Co. is a Certified B Corporation — which means a business that meets the highest standards of social and environmental performance, public transparency, and legal accountability to balance profit and purpose. Not too shabby for a regular go-to.

Nonalcoholic spirits: Raising the bar with booze-free alternatives 

When I quit drinking, I missed the burn — that sting of booze down the back of your throat that seems to warm your entire being. I never want to drink alcohol again, but I do want that sensation — and I found one brand that puts out.

Ritual Zero Proof whiskey is legit, boasting “overtones of vanilla and oak, with notes of stone fruit and caramel, finishing with a pleasant heat.” I prefer sipping this whiskey alternative neat to savor the complex taste and slow burn when the situation — or attitude — arises. With Ritual gaining popularity in sober circles, I have also tried the brand’s tequila and gin, and must say, they’re worth the buzz.

Cheers! The Midst Mocktail

Mixing up non-alcoholic cocktails requires a sober-happy palate, patience for experimentation, and an instinct for fun. With simple and accessible ingredients, this Midst Mocktail (that’s right, old-school “mocktail,” GALs!) can carry you through your holiday toasts straight to summer hangs. Give it a whirl and experiment with different NA ingredients to serve up your own signature sips.

• Sanpellegrino Limonata 
• Elderberry juice
• Non-alcoholic vodka 
• Coconut milk (optional)
• Rosemary sprig (optional)
• Ice cubes

In ice, shake one part Limonata (I suggest this particular brand because of its sweetness and froth), and one part NA vodka, adding a touch of elderberry juice and a splash of coconut milk to create a milky violet hue. Strain and garnish with a sprig of rosemary. Or serve on the rocks, heavily stirred. Voilà, The Midst Mocktail for all of your sober soirées.

Soda: Cheap thrills and social skills

I’ve found that holding non-intoxicated conversations with bona fide drinkers can sometimes be draining, especially when it’s getting past this sober GAL’s bedtime. When coffee’s often not available at this hour, I lean to the very naughty diet soda to get me by. (You can obviously trade in these nasty artificial sweeteners with sugary sodas — to each her own.) Request a lowball glass and twist of lime, and your perk-up and cheap tab will leave them none the wiser. Here’s to your “none and coke” — you’re welcome. 

Read more about sober living in 10 years of sobriety later, I want to share my story with the rising number of women alcoholics by Laurie White.

For help with alcohol addition, Alcohol Anonymous meetings are always free, available, and welcoming.

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This article was originally published on The Midst Substack.