10 Funny Mother's Day Quotes from celebrities - THE MIDST

By Amy Cuevas Schroeder

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10 funny quotes about motherhood, parenting, and raising kids

“I didn’t fully wrap my head around the fact that there would be a person at the end of it. I read endlessly about pregnancy and what to eat and what not to eat. And then I sort of prepared not at all for the actual baby.”
— Ellie Kemper

“I didn’t fully wrap my head around the fact that there would be a person at the end of it. I read endlessly about pregnancy and what to eat and what not to eat. And then I sort of prepared not at all for the actual baby.”
— Ellie Kemper

“No one told me I’d be coming home in diapers, too.” — Chrissy Teigen

“No one told me I’d be coming home in diapers, too.” — Chrissy Teigen

“Parenting is a lot like the bar scene: everyone is yelling, everything is sticky, it’s the same music over and over again, and occasionally pukes.” — Rookie Moms

“You know life has changed when going to the grocery store by yourself is a vacation.” — unknown

“You know life has changed when going to the grocery store by yourself is a vacation.” — unknown

"Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the sidewalk before it stops snowing."
— Phyllis Diller

“Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the sidewalk before it stops snowing.”
— Phyllis Diller

“A 3-year-old is basically a walking, talking middle finger.” — Amy Dillon

“A 3-year-old is basically a walking, talking middle finger.” — Amy Dillon

“My friends make me feel dumb now. They’re talking about Syria and Egypt, and I’m just, like, ‘Oscar was out of control on “Sesame Street.” He was extra-grouchy today.’” — Wanda Sykes

“My friends make me feel dumb now. They’re talking about Syria and Egypt, and I’m just, like, ‘Oscar was out of control on “Sesame Street.” He was extra-grouchy today.’” — Wanda Sykes

“Once you have kids you never pee by yourself again.” — Jennifer Garner

“Once you have kids you never pee by yourself again.” — Jennifer Garner

“Parenting is F**King hard.” — Adele

“Parenting is F**King hard.” — Adele

“When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.”
— Nora Ephron

“When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.”
— Nora Ephron

Mother's Day parenting quotes

Amy Cuevas Schroeder

Amy Cuevas Schroeder is the founder of The Midst and The Midst Substack, the community platform helping women over 40 live healthy, inspired lives on their terms. Amy started her first business, Venus Zine, in her dorm room at Michigan State University, scaled the magazine to international distribution, and sold the company to a Chicago publisher a decade later. She now lives in the Phoenix area and is raising twin girls with her husband, Martin Cuevas, a psychotherapist at Therapy for Creativity. Between Venus and The Midst, she's worked as a content strategist for Writer AI, Etsy, Minted, Unusual Ventures, Atlassian, and Grow Therapy, and has written for TechCrunch, NYLON, Pitchfork, The Startup, West Elm, and more. As a serial contentpreneur, she specializes in creating meaningful content at scale, with thriving communities at the center. Amy now works as a startup advisor, perimenopause market expert and consultant to businesses. She is an SEO expert who scaled The Midst organic views to 700,000 in 2025. Subscribe to The Midst newsletter for exclusive content that you can't get on the-midst.com here on The Midst Substack. View Amy's content portfolio here.

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