How to make peace with Mercury retrograde

January 26, 2021

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The perfectionist’s guide to accepting and embracing Mercury Retrograde

People love to freak out about Mercury Retrograde. In the past few years, Mercury Retrograde has become a cultural icon as the astrological event we love to hate. Anytime we get closer to the three-week retrograde period, dramatic announcements of its impending doom are plastered all over Instagram. Pretty hilarious memes blaming everything on Mercury fly about. When the internet goes down, we look at each other and say, “Well, Mercury is in Retrograde!” while others nod with knowing looks.

While this is funny, these Mercury Retro-hating rumblings also contribute to feelings of fear and anxiety. Mercury Retrograde isn’t something to be feared. In fact, once we understand the gift it really wants to give us, we can simply flow with it, rather than fighting against it.

Asking for a friend: What does it mean when Mercury is in retrograde?

Mercury Retrograde is an astrological phenomenon where Mercury appears to be going backwards in the sky. On earth, this period of time is marked by energetic disruptions in communication, contracts, technology, and travel. These areas tend to go haywire during a Mercury Retrograde in the form of delays, miscommunications, contracts falling apart, or computers breaking down.

I am not an astrologer, but as a tarot and energy reader, I track Mercury Retrograde cycles closely in order to tune into how the energy is impacting my clients (and me!).

Mercury Retrograde doesn’t care about your perfect preparation

One of the most difficult Mercury Retrograde cycles hit my life a couple of years ago, while I was working on a research consulting project. As part of the project, I was scheduled to lead a user testing session of an app right during the Mercury Retrograde window; I was worried.

This project involved technology, communications, and contracts! Everything Mercury rules! Knowing this, I thought through every possible breakdown and settled on contingency plans for each emergency. I came up with a solid plan that the client approved.

Mercury didn’t seem to care about my plans though. I was Mercury Retrograde’d hard. The problems started when clients were unable to login to the livestream of the tests. I had misunderstood how the platform worked, so this snafu was resolved quickly. Phew.

Unfortunately, then, we had trouble getting the app on certain devices. I acted quickly to reschedule tests and find new participants. Finally, the livestream platform started to unpredictably disconnect. The clients had scheduled their day around attending the test, only to log on and watch me apologize profusely as the stream kept dropping.

The project was beginning to look like a disaster. The chaos was, of course, stressful, but what really overwhelmed me was that people were witnessing me crash and burn as I clumsily juggled the various technical issues. As someone with a history of social anxiety, this was my own personal hell.

The project was beginning to look like a disaster. The chaos was, of course, stressful, but what really overwhelmed me was that people were witnessing me crash and burn as I clumsily juggled the various technical issues. As someone with a history of social anxiety, this was my own personal hell.

In the end, I decided to push the user testing schedule back a few days and work with the vendor on solutions to all the technical difficulties. During the delay, I had no choice but to patiently wait for status updates from the vendor. I went into stillness through meditation to calm my senses and sit with my lack of control. I took the delay as an opportunity to slow down, and ask myself what Mercury wanted me to learn from all this chaos. As I connected with my higher self through my third eye, I realized that I was taking responsibility for things that were out of my control. My Type-A working self wanted perfection. I was ashamed that the project was unfolding imperfectly, even though these technology hiccups were not my fault.

With more compassion for myself, I returned to the project more open to embracing the chaos, surrendering to whatever else Mercury may want to throw at me. In this surrender, solutions began to formulate. And although there were still bumps, I stopped blaming myself. At the end of the project, my clients thanked me for my grace in my handling of the issues. Impressed with both my work and my adaptability, they hired me for another project the following month.

How to deal with the jumble of Mercury Retrograde (especially if you’re a perfectionist!)

When advising on how to manage Mercury Retrograde, many astrologers give the standard advice: double-check contract details, be careful with your communication, and don’t make travel plans during this time period. If this advice works for you, then go with it!

But, if you’re a perfectionist, you are already diligent. In fact, you are most likely so diligent, that you go overboard—trying to force things to happen—so that mistakes and misunderstandings are not made.

But, if you’re a perfectionist, you are already diligent. In fact, you are most likely so diligent, that you go overboard—trying to force things to happen—so that mistakes and misunderstandings are not made.

Mercury Retrograde tests our perfectionist selves by creating scenarios that are out of our control. Travel delays, technology failures, and even miscommunication are simply things that happen. When we allow ourselves to get overwhelmed by them or go into blame, we need to take a step back—exactly what Mercury wants you to do. Mercury’s delays are meant to be gifts, so that we can reassess and review (more advice astrologers typically give).

If you’re in the middle of one of Mercury Retrograde’s treacherous lessons, close your eyes, take a deep breathe, and ask yourself:

Why do I need things to go smoothly?
What fear is coming up for healing around feeling out of control?
How is this delay benefiting me?
What does Mercury want me to learn about myself through this situation?

How to flow inside Mercury Retrograde

I have learned to expect delays and to lean in when Mercury brings its Retrograde contingencies. I know that if a delay happens, it is for my benefit, so I don’t sweat it. When I travel during Mercury Retrograde, I look forward to the delay in my layover flight. It means for a couple of hours, I don’t have anything else to do, but relax and sit down with a glass of overpriced Chardonnay and maybe some very naughty, loaded nachos.

When Mercury Retrograde hits, I now practice four rules:

Patience – All slow downs and delays are for my benefit.
Acceptance – Accept the situation and let go of my need to control.
Forgiveness – Forgive myself and others. Nobody is perfect.
Trust – Trust that I can handle whatever comes my way.

These might seem like trite rules we should practice everyday. And, I think that’s the point! Mercury sends us what feels like its worst, so that we can begin to let go of control, and heal our wounds around needing to be perfect. When you trust in your ability to handle situations as they arise, you stop fearing the unknown, and start looking forward to the break from perfectionism.